Monday, June 23, 2008


I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 1994, back before it became a buzzword for undefined pain. Fortunately, I was being treated by a doctor who was suffering from the same thing, so she didn't look at me like I had three heads when I described what I was feeling.
There is a new commercial out now that shows a woman with deep bruising at places where she has pain. That's exactly how it feels. It feels like there bruises all over my body, extremely painful to touch. Sleep comes very slowly and is difficult at best. Muscles don't relax, and the Robaxin does not seem to help. I lie in bed with my eyes closed, looking into my eyelids for self hypnotic relief. When morning does come crashing in, it brings stiff joints and tension headaches that last for hours.
Some days are better than others, but some days seem like a total waste of time. Today, for example, instead of going to church and taking my corn for the pot luck meal, I was on the couch all day. My head ached, my shoulders throbbed, and when I got up to move from one room to another, my back felt like it had been twisted into a tiny knot and was trying vainly to untwist itself. My knees feel like walking will cause them to subluxate, causing me to fall. My ankles are stiff, and my toes feel like they are splaying, trying to get away from one another.
Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain condition, that the scientific world is just now studying in a serious way. The best that can be done, however, is to treat it symptomatically. There is nothing to prevent it and nothing to stop it. Lyrica has come onto the market, but it's expensive, and my insurance won't pay for it. Even with the discount card, it's more expensive than I can afford.
My hope is that someday, there will be answers for fibromyalgia sufferers. As for now, I hope there are more days like yesterday and fewer days like today.

No comments: